A Day in the Life of Michael Myers

[Mark Warner]

A member of the UHMB "Pittman4two" posted this on the UHMB when it was still around and I saved it to a Word file because I thought it was pretty funny. I believe Pittman still posts on this board, but I'm not sure.

Anyway, here it is, A Day in The Life of Michael Myers

I was sipping some ovaltine with the kids one night and had a resolution...What if I was Michael Myers? How would I go about life? So the next day I got my recently purchased Post mask and acted all day like I was Michael Myers.

When I woke up for my morning walk with Suzie, the family dog, I hurriedly put on my mask because I didn't want the family to see me without my mask because Michael is shy, I guess. So I had to be shy.

Anywho I went to the bathroom, did my business, and then went to the sink to brush the old' teeth. Before I realized it I had Crest all over the front of my mask. There's a little hole in the mouth in the mask so I maneuvered my brush through that hole to my mouth. Didn't work as well as planned since I had toothpaste all over my face and nose underneath the mask. I was a little perturbed since I knew that toothpaste would be on my face the entire day. Oh well, if Michael can do it, I can do it. I borrowed some stinky, stained mechanics overalls from my brother-in-law Jake. They fit me really well although sleeping in those things can be harsh, not only to myself, but to the wife also.

Since I was wearing the mask, I really didn't have to worry about combing my hair. One thing I'm proud of is the full head of hair the mask has, it gives me confidence since I'm follicly challenged. I started thinking about underarm deodorant. Does Michael wear the stuff? I didn't think so either. So I'd have to have a bout with B.O. throughout the day.

So, I went to Suzie and almost asked her if she wanted to walk, then I remembered that Michael doesn't speak. So I had to make a gesture to the front door while also picking my feet up and down simulating a walking motion. It worked, Suzie knew what I was "talking" about. So Suzie and I headed out on the customary morning walk. She really wanted to walk fast but I knew Michael only walked fast when music came on. I didn't hear any music so I had to walk slow. The neighbors didn't really know it was me probably since I had the mask on. They waived but I really couldn't waive back because Michael really doesn't waive. I know because I've seen the movies. Old' Wayne at the end of the street didn't take too kindly to some wacko in a mask so he came right up to me and said, "What in THE hell are you doing with Suzie?" Unfortunately, I had the mask on so he couldn't see that it was good old' "Pittman4two" under that mask. He told me to answer but I just stood there. Finally he asked if it was me and I could finally nod my head up and down. All in all a really fun morning so far.

So I get home after walking Suzie and think to myself what Michael would usually do this early in the morning. I decided just to walk up and down the stairs really slow and sometimes really fast like I was chasing somebody. He really isn't human because I had to sit and take a break after doing that routine once. By the way, when I was relaxing something made me want to sneeze really bad. I don't know if it was the material on the inside of the mask or if I just got a whiff of something. To make a long story short, I couldn't hold it back and sneezed inside the mask. It wasn't pretty, folks. So toothpaste and a nice loogie are floating around in my mask. Look on the bright side, I get to take the mask off when I go to bed.

The entire mid-morning and early afternoon passed and all I did was walk around the house and sometimes look and stare and family pictures on the mantle. I even tilted my head Myers-style.

I know what you're thinking. I guy has to eat, right? Well, that was a task in and of itself. I ate some carrots, celery, and slim jims not because I wanted to but because that was the only stuff I had around the house that could fit through that silly little mouth hole on the mask. How did the man do it? He's not human, for sure.

Going to the restroom was weird. I tried not to look at myself in the vanity mirror because I haven't seen Michael in this predicament, so it was tough to stay in character. I mean, what does Michael do on the thrown? Read a magazine? Stretch? Plot the next victim stalking? So I did what I thought he would do. I sat up as straight as possible and stared straight ahead at the wall, groan when necessary (he does groan, you know), but be as silent as possible. That was tough, but I made it through it.

By the time the wife and kids returned home from work and school, I was struggling. The inside of my mask was all wet and nasty, the overalls started to chafe my inner thighs (should've worn something inside I guess but how do we know Michael did?), and the B.O. was starting to take its toll. This is where I officially gave up, unfortunately.

Michael deserves tons upon tons of credit for living his everyday life the way he does. I couldn't do it, that's for sure. So next time you guys watch a Halloween film, keep in mind what Michael deals with each and everyday.

[Superman]

Yeah..I always thought that was a stupid lame idea.

[HalloweeN63]

Ridiculous.

[Mark Warner]

Well, just be glad it wasn't either of you.

[LoomisFan4Life]

pretty funny. Gotta give the guy props for trying.

[freethy]

A little sanity, STAT!

[DarthMyers]

http://www.arko1.btinternet.co.uk/wtf.jpg

[freethy]

Originally posted by DarthMyers
http://www.arko1.btinternet.co.uk/wtf.jpg
I sure hope thats a glass of milk:eek:

[Franchise]

Originally posted by DarthMyers
Image deleted because I don't want it in my post.

You missed this guy. He registered here, but hasn't been seen in a while.

[LegendKiller]

People may tell you your rediculous,but i thought it was pretty cool how you kept on with it even though you knew it would be tough and even though it stunk(literally)

[NeewollaH]

Originally posted by Franchise
You missed this guy. He registered here, but hasn't been seen in a while.

Nope, they were roaming around a couple weeks ago claiming "the powers that be" deleted their account..

I remember that from last summer, wow.

[Mark Warner]

Originally posted by LegendKiller
People may tell you your rediculous,but i thought it was pretty cool how you kept on with it even though you knew it would be tough and even though it stunk(literally)

Not me man, another member. I'm not THAT crazy about Michael to do this!

[gerry d]

Originally posted by freethy
I sure hope thats a glass of milk:eek:

Nice one Lee:D

As for Pittman4two, each to their own i guess.

But personally speaking i find it pretty extreme that somebody(if Pittman actually did this) would go to all that trouble to find out what it would be like to be Michael Myers for the day.

cheers

[TheShape2005]

Don't know what to say????

[Franchise]

Originally posted by TheShape2005
Don't know what to say????

Then don't worry about posting in this thread. That's the easiest way. If you don't know your ass from the hole in the ground, no need for comment.

[HalloweeN63]

OH yeah, a thread like this reallly deserves to stay open more than Albybat's Evil Dead Timeline/Chronology thread! WOOOOOOOT!

[Mark Warner]

If you want to close this thread so badly, then talk to the mods.

[benluvin]

good job

[Franchise]

Originally posted by benluvin
good job

On what? The thread or people talking smack to one another?

[AnnieAnimosity]

I thought the whole 'Be Michael for a Day' thing was kind if funny. I would never do it, but go him. Doesn't he have a job?

[Raechull]

wow.....I must say at some points I was cracking up and at others i was just like ummmm........Im wondering weather or not to belive it. I think Michael would remove the mask when eating...because obviously no one is around. i doubt michael wears pit juice...but for the sake of people around you I might have went the extra mile ;). And for all we know Michael sleeps naked LOL....I mean can anyone really think of what it would be like as Michael Myers? the ansewr folks is no. We cannot.

But it definatley enjoyed reading about your adventure and i must give you some hardcore fan points for that!!!!!!

[Franchise]

Originally posted by AnnieAnimosity
I thought the whole 'Be Michael for a Day' thing was kind if funny. I would never do it, but go him. Doesn't he have a job?

He's a member here. PM him and ask.

[Hey You!]

That was an awesome read. That guy deserves some mad props. I can't believe someone actually did it.

I find it comical that no one else has thought about trying this. You know you all have.

HalloweeN63 definitely has.

[Franchise]

I don't think he has. Unless he was severly drunk.

[ten31]

Originally posted by Raechull
i doubt michael wears pit juice

I think he does wear it. How can he sneak up behind someone if he stinks of B.O.

They would be alerted by his stank.

[Hey You!]

Seriously, can you imagine the smell of being in a mask the entire day? I wondered about mascots and such but they're only working a max of four hours.

Dude, this guy must've smelt like homemade dogshit.

[TheShape2005]

Originally posted by Hey You!
Seriously, can you imagine the smell of being in a mask the entire day? I wondered about mascots and such but they're only working a max of four hours.

Dude, this guy must've smelt like homemade dogshit.

it's not really the smell, it's the sweat. The sweat just runs down your neck and your hair is drenched . If you have it on only for like 30 minutes your hotter then hell and if you didn’t have a bath the other day. I’m sure you will start to stink then.

[Hey You!]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. The guy walked his dog in the morning, probably sweated up a storm doing that. Then he came back inside and cooled off. Then he decided to run up and down the stairs...all the while his face covered in food and toothpaste. What's the deal?

Have you noticed when people are really dirty, the dirt cakes on to the wrinkles of their skin and the sweat kinda liquifies that dirt making it look like little streams of dirt all up and down their body? That's what this guy probably looked like.

[Franchise]

You sure know a lot of information about this, Hey You!. Any chance you're my guy Pittman? Hmm?

[gerry d]

Originally posted by Hey You!

I find it comical that no one else has thought about trying this.

Well ask yourself this

Would a sane person actually do this?

cheers

[urg]

Originally posted by gerry d
Well ask yourself this

Would a sane person actually do this?

cheers

no, but a halloween fan would, and did lol.

[Raechull]

Originally posted by ten31
I think he does wear it. How can he sneak up behind someone if he stinks of B.O.

They would be alerted by his stank.

Yeah thats true....he buys axe I saw him at wal mart. LOL jk....but really I think he does shower b/c in h5 Tina would been like damn Mikey you nassssty haha.

[TheShape2005]

Originally posted by Raechull
Yeah thats true....he buys axe I saw him at wal mart. LOL jk....but really I think he does shower b/c in h5 Tina would been like damn Mikey you nassssty haha. LMFAO this is so damn funny. well just remeber it's a movie! the film makers don't really put this much thought into that kind of stuff. I know one answer to a question. I'm sure Jason don't shower at all. and you can tell. it looks like he turned black!

[Laow-Z]

Originally posted by TheShape2005
I'm sure Jason don't shower at all. and you can tell. it looks like he turned black!
I think Jason was in the rain and in the lake enough times to keep him kinda "fresh":p

[TheShape2005]

Originally posted by Laow-Z
I think Jason was in the rain and in the lake enough times to keep him kinda "fresh":p

True but the Lake does look really nasty to be swimmin in! but truth be told don't he look like he turned from a white guy to a black dude?!!!

[Hey You!]

Originally posted by Franchise
You sure know a lot of information about this, Hey You!. Any chance you're my guy Pittman? Hmm?

Franchise, what gave you that idea? The instances I mentioned were in Pittman's dissertation.

[FranchiseHatesMe]

I would just went to a local gym and jumped in the pool.

[Franchise]

Originally posted by Hey You!
Franchise, what gave you that idea? The instances I mentioned were in Pittman's dissertation.

I have hunches, but if they are unfounded, I shall be the first to admit it. I shall cease on this information.

[shrike]

Originally posted by TheShape2005
but truth be told don't he look like he turned from a white guy to a black dude?!!!

no not really.

[TheShape2005]

Originally posted by shrike
no not really. well guess it's just me then. in part 6 he is really dark part 7 he is and part 8 he is white as hell. then 9 he looks ok. Jason X he looks like a white dude. then in freddy Vs. Jason he is black again!

[Raechull]

Originally posted by TheShape2005
LMFAO this is so damn funny. well just remeber it's a movie! the film makers don't really put this much thought into that kind of stuff. I know one answer to a question. I'm sure Jason don't shower at all. and you can tell. it looks like he turned black!

LOL I havent really watched Friday 13th movies enough to notice. I know they dont really think of every single detail when they make a movie but it would be funny if they had a shot of mikey srayin some BOD for men or something on...;)

[TheShape2005]

Originally posted by Raechull
LOL I havent really watched Friday 13th movies enough to notice. I know they dont really think of every single detail when they make a movie but it would be funny if they had a shot of mikey srayin some BOD for men or something on...;) LoL then all the girls would be wanting his bod when they got killed!!!

[sam loomis421]

michael walking around killing or living lonely would be his daily life i guess wait evil does not get lonely

[punkrocklove]

Since I was wearing the mask, I really didn't have to worry about combing my hair. One thing I'm proud of is the full head of hair the mask has, it gives me confidence since I'm follicly challenged. I started thinking about underarm deodorant. Does Michael wear the stuff? I didn't think so either. So I'd have to have a bout with B.O. throughout the day



^lol

erm...................i am slightly speechless

what a strange thing to do

[myersRUNNER2]

haha...thats kinda funny gotta give some props out who took the time to make this cause i know i wouldnt take like 20 minutes to make that all up

[Hey You!]

Excellent thread. The guy who pulled this off is an idiot or an idiot, but definitely one of the two.

[LegendKiller]

Originally posted by Hey You!
Excellent thread. The guy who pulled this off is an idiot or an idiot, but definitely one of the two.
Tough one but id say an idiot

[Mr.Garrett81]

I got a kick out of the story. A little off but hey if we were all the same life would be boring.

[Hey You!]

Since our favorite day is around the corner...it's time to relive Pittman4Two's day in the sun. (pardon the pun)

[Franchise]

Originally posted by Hey You!
Since our favorite day is around the corner...it's time to relive Pittman4Two's day in the sun. (pardon the pun)

Where is ol Pittman these days?

[Hey You!]

He's doing his think on the Bucs' message board. I hear he's going to pull off a "sequel" of his experience. I told him he'd have to work out and do much film study to pull it off right. ;)

[Franchise]

Originally posted by Hey You!
He's doing his think on the Bucs' message board. I hear he's going to pull off a "sequel" of his experience. I told him he'd have to work out and do much film study to pull it off right. ;)

Ha! He have plans for posting it here?

[Hey You!]

I think he does, however I think he's a bit embarrassed after the whole ordeal. His kids didn't look at him the same for days afterwards.

[JWILL2]

Originally posted by Mark Warner
A member of the UHMB "Pittman4two" posted this on the UHMB when it was still around and I saved it to a Word file because I thought it was pretty funny. I believe Pittman still posts on this board, but I'm not sure.

Anyway, here it is, A Day in The Life of Michael Myers

I was sipping some ovaltine with the kids one night and had a resolution...What if I was Michael Myers? How would I go about life? So the next day I got my recently purchased Post mask and acted all day like I was Michael Myers.

When I woke up for my morning walk with Suzie, the family dog, I hurriedly put on my mask because I didn't want the family to see me without my mask because Michael is shy, I guess. So I had to be shy.

Anywho I went to the bathroom, did my business, and then went to the sink to brush the old' teeth. Before I realized it I had Crest all over the front of my mask. There's a little hole in the mouth in the mask so I maneuvered my brush through that hole to my mouth. Didn't work as well as planned since I had toothpaste all over my face and nose underneath the mask. I was a little perturbed since I knew that toothpaste would be on my face the entire day. Oh well, if Michael can do it, I can do it. I borrowed some stinky, stained mechanics overalls from my brother-in-law Jake. They fit me really well although sleeping in those things can be harsh, not only to myself, but to the wife also.

Since I was wearing the mask, I really didn't have to worry about combing my hair. One thing I'm proud of is the full head of hair the mask has, it gives me confidence since I'm follicly challenged. I started thinking about underarm deodorant. Does Michael wear the stuff? I didn't think so either. So I'd have to have a bout with B.O. throughout the day.

So, I went to Suzie and almost asked her if she wanted to walk, then I remembered that Michael doesn't speak. So I had to make a gesture to the front door while also picking my feet up and down simulating a walking motion. It worked, Suzie knew what I was "talking" about. So Suzie and I headed out on the customary morning walk. She really wanted to walk fast but I knew Michael only walked fast when music came on. I didn't hear any music so I had to walk slow. The neighbors didn't really know it was me probably since I had the mask on. They waived but I really couldn't waive back because Michael really doesn't waive. I know because I've seen the movies. Old' Wayne at the end of the street didn't take too kindly to some wacko in a mask so he came right up to me and said, "What in THE hell are you doing with Suzie?" Unfortunately, I had the mask on so he couldn't see that it was good old' "Pittman4two" under that mask. He told me to answer but I just stood there. Finally he asked if it was me and I could finally nod my head up and down. All in all a really fun morning so far.

So I get home after walking Suzie and think to myself what Michael would usually do this early in the morning. I decided just to walk up and down the stairs really slow and sometimes really fast like I was chasing somebody. He really isn't human because I had to sit and take a break after doing that routine once. By the way, when I was relaxing something made me want to sneeze really bad. I don't know if it was the material on the inside of the mask or if I just got a whiff of something. To make a long story short, I couldn't hold it back and sneezed inside the mask. It wasn't pretty, folks. So toothpaste and a nice loogie are floating around in my mask. Look on the bright side, I get to take the mask off when I go to bed.

The entire mid-morning and early afternoon passed and all I did was walk around the house and sometimes look and stare and family pictures on the mantle. I even tilted my head Myers-style.

I know what you're thinking. I guy has to eat, right? Well, that was a task in and of itself. I ate some carrots, celery, and slim jims not because I wanted to but because that was the only stuff I had around the house that could fit through that silly little mouth hole on the mask. How did the man do it? He's not human, for sure.

Going to the restroom was weird. I tried not to look at myself in the vanity mirror because I haven't seen Michael in this predicament, so it was tough to stay in character. I mean, what does Michael do on the thrown? Read a magazine? Stretch? Plot the next victim stalking? So I did what I thought he would do. I sat up as straight as possible and stared straight ahead at the wall, groan when necessary (he does groan, you know), but be as silent as possible. That was tough, but I made it through it.

By the time the wife and kids returned home from work and school, I was struggling. The inside of my mask was all wet and nasty, the overalls started to chafe my inner thighs (should've worn something inside I guess but how do we know Michael did?), and the B.O. was starting to take its toll. This is where I officially gave up, unfortunately.

Michael deserves tons upon tons of credit for living his everyday life the way he does. I couldn't do it, that's for sure. So next time you guys watch a Halloween film, keep in mind what Michael deals with each and everyday.

Your family must have thought you were nuts...

[WhiteZombie]

lmao thats funny, well if hes an adult with kids and a wife he odviously doesent have school, and i guess he dident have to work that day so nothing better to do i guess

[Linda A.Warrick]

I thought it was great, how about a part two?

[Ryan]

Wish I could've seen that! :D Gotta give you your props for having the guts to do it, though.

[Horror Kitten]

To hear you all talk about it that way, I guess he sriously did this? hmmm..I thought it was a made-up comical story for the loyal fans of Halloween ;)

If he did actually do that, he must be some kind of accentric genious, because that was good storytelling.

[Hey You!]

**CONFIRMED**

Pittman will be living another day as MM himself. He says he plans on doing this closer to Halloween.

**STAY TUNED**